We appear to spend our lives seeking one person, that glorious person that will comfort us when we’re ill and somehow still laugh at all of our jokes after ten years. That’s the dream, right? The old couple eating chips by the beach.
Unfortunately, our society is flooded with quick fixes and tricks to get into relationships. Maybe they’ll be the one and you’ll live happily ever after, realistically you’ll realise 9 months in that you have little in common, they’re not actually that funny AND you fancy the bartender at your local.
And yet we continue to do it, we subject ourselves to hours of scrolling through Tinder, rummaging through hundreds of creepy messages in the hopes that one day someone will openly post about you on their Instagram. True? Probably. Sad? Definitely.
But it’s not to worry chickadees because your friendly, local Claire Cross is here to tell you how to stop seeing these people (you’re welcome.)
Don’t rely on dating apps to find the one
I know that your friends, sisters’ best pal found the father of her children and co-owner of a country house in Surrey on Tinder – but that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen to you. In fact, it could well happen – the possibility is absolutely there, unfortunately I doubt its Dan who’s bio reads “don’t swipe right if you’re just gonna friendzone.”
Stop ignoring red flags
You know the things that you tell your friends after the break up, the small instances that you brushed off at the time but now you’re finding yourself questioning why you ever continued that relationship. Yeah, those are called red flags and you should absolutely start believing in them. If your partner starts telling racist jokes or dictating what you should be doing: they’re probably not the one.
Small coincidences do not a good relationship make
So they have the same favourite film as you, they love dogs and used to be really into tennis as well. So do millions of other people in the world. Don’t get me wrong, shared interests are obviously a brilliant thing in a relationship but it’s important to figure out if they’re the only thing you’re relationship is resting on.
Ask yourself, do you have similar lifestyles that push your relationship forward and give you a means of enjoying experiences together? Or are they one of the thousands of people that love eating pizza in bed whilst watching Peep Show?
Don’t feel pressured to be in a relationship
We’ve all seen our friends and their partners being dead cute and thought ‘I’d like that.’ Obviously this is perfectly normal; this however, is not a reason to go looking for a relationship because it seems appealing. Ask yourself if the person you’re interested in is actually somebody you want to be with – or are they simply a comforting and beneficial friend to share hungover mornings with…
Location, location, location
Of course, you’ll occasionally meet someone in a club, they will have been dragged along by their friends – they want to go home and have zero interest in the pull. However, it’s more likely that you’ll meet the guy that spent pre-drinks telling his friends he’s gonna smash and dash whilst necking voddies and lemonade.
Stop trying to chase this guy, the chances of him actually dedicating any real time to you are slim – and let’s be honest, you’re probably not that into him anyway.
Question if it’s just lust
On that note, every now and then we are in need of affection and I’m sure we can all agree that sometimes that need clouds our judgment. Ask yourself, is he the one? Or was he the one at the time?
Don’t settle for less!
The next time you’re waiting by the phone for a reply, or spending hours asking your friends what his actions mean – remind yourself that you are fabulous. That although you might not have matching candle holders or anecdotes about long weekends in Greece: you are still brilliant.
No relationship status will change that, particularly one with a half-hearted 6/10 that spends his time bragging about doing body shots in Magaluf.