26 things you’ll understand if you’re still obsessed with Harry Potter

I just want to preface this by saying that a few weeks ago I listened to the philosopher’s stone soundtrack whilst on a flight – staring out of the window, trying not to sob. It was perhaps the best thing to happen ever. 10/10 would recommend to a friend.

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Harry Potter is without any shadow of doubt, one of my favourite things to have ever existed. It fills me with so much happiness that it’s actually weird. Luckily I’m not the only one – so I compiled a list of things that my fellow Potterheads will understand (luv u guys let’s play Quidditch sometime soon yh?)

  1. You still worry about the chance that you’re a squib,

    I just couldn’t live with myself…not that squibs are any less important #equalityforall

  2. Or that you’re letter never made it to you,

    Living everyday holding onto the knowledge that Voldemort’s ministry deleted all muggleborn records between 1985-1998. That must be the only reason, right?!

  3. Years later, the deaths of certain characters continue to ruin your day,

    A lot of great people died okay, I don’t even want to think about it. 

  4. You’re baffled when people don’t know what house they’re in,

    Do us all a favour (and let me know your results.) I’m a Hufflepuff, sure you’re dying to know.

  5. You re-read the books once a year

    & it is a perfectly acceptable use of your time!! 

  6. You will always have a deep rooted hatred for Peter Pettigrew.

    He was their friend. And he betrayed them. HE WAS THEIR FRIEND. 

  7. If the chance came, you would drop everything and be a mature student at Hogwarts.
  8. You’ve accepted the fact that you’d spend extortionate amounts on a toilet brush if it had the Hogwarts shield emblazoned on it.
  9. Nothing brings you more joy (or jealousy) than seeing someone experience Harry Potter for the first time.
  10. No franchise will ever compare!

    Yeah Lord of the Rings is great and everything but where’s Sirius?

  11. It still hurts to think that the series ended (but you accept that it was time to let go)

    Cursed Child and Fantastic Beasts just isn’t the same really, let’s be honest.

  12. And when somebody says that they preferred fantastic beasts:

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  13. You may have spent a year week or two doing absolutely nothing but playing Pottermore in bed.

    Why is it so addictive JK, why?

  14. Whilst people around you scoff at a friend that owns a wand you’re screaming “WHO’S WAND? WHAT’S THE CORE MATERIAL?”
  15. You spend hours watching “12 things you never noticed about Harry Potter” videos, only to be disappointed that you learnt nothing new.

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  16. You shamelessly listen to the soundtrack and have maybe forced friends to play it at the pub. GuiltyEmoji

  17. You’re still waiting for the day that somebody buys you a Hogwarts uniform,

    You even make incredibly subtle hints about it in blog posts.

  18. You constantly find yourself thinking about spells that would make your life 100x easier,

    Particularly accio.

  19. Now that you’re a real life adult you can’t help but have conversations about how complex Harry Potter is.

    The underlying messages about racism, class hierarchy and government corruption make it a true gift to literature.

  20. You still feel an overwhelming sense of joy reading the words “Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.”
  21. All of your future pets (and children) have already got Potter themed names.
  22. You’re still kept awake at night by some of the best things that were left out of the films…

    Where was Peeves? Where was Harry giving the twins his tournament winnings? Where was S.P.E.W? Why was there no mention of Ron winning the Quidditch cup? Where was Voldy’s back story? WHERE WAS THE UNVEILING THAT RITA SKEETER WAS AN ILLEGAL ANIMAGUS?! I’m calm, I’m calm. Get prepared for this to be a separate post of anger.

  23. Some of the character portrayals in the films deeply, deeply upset you.What happened to Ginny Weasley?

  24. “Aren’t you a little old to still be into Harry Potter?” 

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  25. Harry Potter has been the bonding moment between you and some of your best friends,

    Will taking Harry Potter quizzes and discussing which character you relate most with whilst ignoring all of the muggles at a party ever get old?

  26. You know that even when you’re 52, you’ll pick up a Harry Potter book or walk through a place that looks vaguely like Diagon Alley and be filled with warmth and fuzziness, thinking about all of the happiness that JK bought you (thanks gal.)4aa391051958b3ef60ba7780e0466a8aTwo_Pink_Hearts_Emoji

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Confessions of a Bad Feminist

One of the best things I’ve ever read has to be a collection of essays by Roxane Gay, she is an absolute goddess and the mastermind behind “Bad Feminist.” It completely reaffirmed my beliefs and taught me a lot about how I conduct myself (particularly around other women.) There is nobody on this planet that I would not recommend this book to.

As a feminist, I often find myself thinking “that wasn’t very ‘feminist’ of you” as if that even means anything. I think it’s easy to get caught up in unwritten rules within a social movement and feel as if you’re doing something wrong. When realistically, as long as you’re supporting equality between every gender, you are a feminist.

It was however, amusing to collate the things that I thought made me a “bad feminist” so I thought it was only right to share them with you here.

 

Defending why I don’t want children 

I often find myself in conversation with people in which I state that having children really isn’t something that I’m interested in ever doing. The odd thing here being that in my head I know that this is completely okay and I have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. BUT then I seem to go on to say the words “I mean I probably will in the future, I guess I can never completely rule something out.”

Now for all I know I could wake up one cloudy Tuesday in 2024 and decide that all I want in the world is 2 kids and a holiday home in France so this isn’t a completely ridiculous statement to make.

The problem is that I only say these things to try and defend myself in front of certain people. There’s something in my crap feminist head that can’t bare that look of “oh…so you just don’t…want…kids?” So what I’m trying to confess is that I pretend I might one day want them so that my womb can feel better about itself. Sad, I know.

 

Defending my body hair (apparently I’m a very defensive person)

I’m an inherently lazy person. If I don’t absolutely have to do something, I simply won’t. So when it comes to body hair, all I’m saying is that I’m not going to spend an extra 20 minutes in the shower fixing something that is not broken.

And once again – as with the children – I AM OK WITH THIS. BUT. I find myself getting awkward when people mention it, I make an active effort to cover my legs in certain social situations and I have no idea why. It’s so frustrating to me that I clearly still care about these stupid social constructs.

To quickly clear this up, I’m not saying that all feminists have body hair or trying to encourage stupid stereotypes that should have never existed in the first place. I’m simply saying that if I’m comfortable with something within myself – why the heck am I still hiding it away?

 

Feeling accomplished when hearing the phrase “you’re not like other girls” 

WHY 4aa391051958b3ef60ba7780e0466a8aDO 4aa391051958b3ef60ba7780e0466a8a WOMEN 4aa391051958b3ef60ba7780e0466a8a FEEL 4aa391051958b3ef60ba7780e0466a8a LIKE 4aa391051958b3ef60ba7780e0466a8a THEY 4aa391051958b3ef60ba7780e0466a8a HAVE 4aa391051958b3ef60ba7780e0466a8a TO 4aa391051958b3ef60ba7780e0466a8a COMPETE 4aa391051958b3ef60ba7780e0466a8a WITH EACH 4aa391051958b3ef60ba7780e0466a8a OTHER?!

We should be praising and empowering each other, not putting one another down and accepting sub par compliments that single us out from everybody else. It really upsets me to admit that I used to be filled with joy at the sound of these words, as if I’d done something spectacular when realistically this is another way of saying “being a woman is a bad thing” congratulations, you’ve succeeded in beating the rest of them.

Don’t even get me started on the term “you *insert any verb* like a girl.”

 

Being in awe of an authoritative woman/thinking that a female is “too bossy” 

The fact that I look up to authoritative women will never be a bad thing, the thing that upsets me about this is that is constantly seems to come with a side dish of “wow, she actually got to this position of power – good for her.” As if having anything other than a male boss is an achievement. Another thing that is worth noting is that is the old “bossy” comment.

Now, I could be wrong, but I just need you to take a minute and try and think of any situation in which you’ve thought a man was being bossy in your workplace. Please tell me if you’ve found something. Because in my experience, a man telling their colleagues what to do is them doing their job. A woman on the other hand, is being bossy. If this isn’t a clear example of inequality at work, I don’t know what is.

 

Judging another persons’ sex life 

Ok, we’ve all done it. Unfortunately it seems to be part of human nature to judge other people. BUT we need to make sure that we’re judging people EQUALLY.

I’m kidding, this is my public statement saying that I will never judge another person on their sexual activity. As long as their not hurting anyone, of COURSE – and even then, what problem did judging somebody else ever solve?

 

Openly not doing “feminine” things 

This one is just silly. When I was younger I remember actively not doing things because they were deemed girly. Whatever gender you identify as, you should be able to wear giant pink fluffy everything or make up or a t-shirt that literally says “I’m a big masculine manly man” because clothes don’t mean anything. Objects do not contribute anything to your gender or who you are as a person 

 

Saying the words “I only hang out with guys”

Firstly, why I ever wanted to only associate with guys baffles me – not that I’m throwing shade at the “male race” but purely because it just seems so closed off and weird. That statement in itself confuses me but sadly, it used to be something that frequently left my mouth.

It really gets me down that there was a time in my life where I would instantly assume I wouldn’t get on with a “girly girl.” Because it’s one of the silliest things I’ve ever heard.

Roxane Gay actually says something that perfectly epitomises what I’m trying to say in Bad Feminist:

If you’re the kind of woman that says “I’m mostly friends with guys and act like you’re proud of that, like that makes you closer to being a man or something and less of a woman, as if being a woman is a bad thing…it’s okay if most of your friends are guys but if you champion this as a commentary on the nature of female friendships, well, soul-search a little.” 

I’d definitely recommend reading the article that this quote comes from, It’s fantastic. We need to stop the toxicity and competition in our friendships and accept that we’re all fabulous.

ALSO, while I’m ranting – on a slightly unrelated topic – there is a meme that circulated a year or two ago about girls that are only friends with guys. You may have seen it, the woman with hot dogs in her mouth? Maybe I’m just being a negative nelly and not taking a joke but did it annoy anyone else that this makes the assumption that a woman can’t be friends with a group of men without engaging in sexual activity with all of them? As if – oh I don’t know – women were sex objects. I could have completely misread it, but I figured there’s no better time for me to have this rant.

 

Feeling uncomfortable about doing things that are typically aren’t “feminine” 

The best example of this that I can think of is when I was younger and I felt really uncomfortable eating large amounts of food in front of other people. Or being messy or gross in any way. As if it was a strange thing to do because I’m a petite, polite lady. Luckily I got over that and frequently shovel mass amounts of food into my mouth for all to see – throwing it everywhere and causing a huge mess of course. (You’re welcome.)

But this is completely the same for hobbies, media, sex – the list goes on and on (and it shouldn’t exist.)

 

Not knowing what to do around a crying man 

…as if it were any different to comforting anybody else. This is something that I think needs a lot more attention in our society. Men have been emotionally repressed for far too long and the idea that’s emasculating to cry is ridiculous. Similarly, the idea that it’s hysterical for anybody to cry is. We are all human, everybody needs a good cry sometimes.

Gender equality still has to come a long way and although it’s undeniable that things are better than they were – I think we all need to continue to work towards building a society in which everybody is equal, regardless of their gender, race or any other construct that seems to segregate us even though we are all human.

 

 

74 thoughts I had whilst watching THAT EPISODE of Orange is the New Black

 

I want to preface this by saying that I’m still very much heartbroken. I get too attached to fictional characters, I know, get over it. Secondly I think that the last season of Orange is the New Black was the worst television I’ve ever seen and I’m shocked and impressed that they managed to bring it back.   

The most recent season of Orange is the New Black touched on some very significant social issues that need to be bought to light in mainstream media, it tugged on our heartstrings and reminded us that everyone is human – apart from Piscatella and Humphries – douchebags. But the last two episodes. My god. I haven’t wept that much since Chris died. I’ve basically scripted the emotional roller coaster that was my brain whilst watching Episode 12 unfold. Hopefully we can be there for one another at this time and get through this tragedy together.

  1. THE ANIMALS. THE ANIMALS. TRAPPED TRAPPED TRAPPED TILL THE CAGE IS FULL.
  2. Oh god, don’t fall don’t fall.
  3. I would not climb that tower for a million pounds. Okay maybe a million but I wouldn’t be happy about it.
  4. Aw, Bayley. He’s a good egg. An innocent, sweet egg.
  5. Kaputo is about to lose his shit, his moustache is actually gonna to fall out.
  6. Aw, they’re all uniting because of hate. That’s the way it should be. Fuck you Humps.
  7. This still doesn’t make the white supremacists okay.
  8. I swear to Christ if anything happens to Red I’m leaving.

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    Picture Credit: Netflix
  9. Brook and Poussey are too cute. Cannot handle. Need to slow dance in a time machine pronto.
  10. AND we need to find out more about Poussey’s mum. And life. Will someone please just tell me how to be her best friend already.
  11. Piper’s stupid face is stupid. She should have left seasons ago.  Let’s be honest I’m probably just doing that thing where you hate someone you see yourself in. Actually I resent that. She’s the worst.
  12. So are her and Alex together again now or?
  13. I’ll never know. I’m not sure they’ll ever know.
  14. YEAH! Fuck the system!!

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    Picture Credit: Netflix
  15. Don’t listen to him Mr Kaputo!
  16. How is he THIS MUCH of an arsehole?! They’re all terrible.
  17. Except for sweet Bayley.
  18. And the kind female guard.
  19. Judy King is bloody annoying. Over-privileged, manipulative and annoying.
  20. Relatable dehydration issues though.
  21. Mmm, Yoga Jones really sold out. She sold out baaad.
  22. Oh god please stop mentioning the horrible threesome.
  23. Although I’m VERY glad that they stood up for female sexuality. Especially for powerful women that are past a certain age. Not Judy bloody King though.
  24. Yaaaaas. She’s giving P the hook up. She’s gonna go to Fiji with Soso and live happily ever after.
  25. Yoga Jones really needs to chill.
  26. I would absolutely starve in prison, the food looks hideous. And I’d be the picky vegan. Oooo they need a vegan in Orange is the new Black.
  27. What is it with Piper and getting involved with everything ever? I swear she’s just incredibly bored in prison and can’t stand the idea of picking up a bloody book.
  28. “If your skin is darker than white sneakers, you have no work ethic.” Oh can you PLEASE just bugger off. And FYI, “white” skin is darker than your average Stan Smiths so you can go eff yourself.
  29. Boo and Pennsatucky have one of the best relationships from the entire show, they’ve both progressed so much and they have a genuine, caring friendship. So cute. So glad for them.
  30. HOWEVER, very unhappy with Pennsatucky for talking to Coates again. He’s a hideous person who does not deserve her time.
  31. Forgive him for your own wellbeing but never EVER speak to him again.
  32. Poussey and Brooke cannot be arguing right now. Nothing is worth ending what they have!!
  33. They’ll be okay, right? Right?!
  34. Oh piss off Judy.
  35. Vinnie is such a stereotypical Italian New Yorker it is UNREAL.
  36. But he’s cute and very nice to Morello.
  37. Oh great, she’s messing things up.
  38. Why has nobody spoke to her or helped with her issues before?!
  39. I know that she sweeps everything under the rug and acts like it’s all fine but come on, SOMEONE must have noticed.
  40. Mr Heely 😦
  41. Galina Reznikov, pulling people together since 1955.

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    Picture Credit: Netflix
  42. Sophia Burset is a fantastic and courageous woman who deserves so much better than everything that has happened to her in this prison. And her wife is awesome.
  43. I wish my name was Baxter Bayley.
  44. Bayley really needs to start thinking about things before he does them, as opposed to feeling guilty afterwards and attempting to change his ways.
  45. Oh look it’s the ex-warden that was sleeping with Kaputo. She’s weird.
  46. Great, Piscatella is being an arse again.
  47. Poor Red.
  48. Poor Suzanne.
  49. I hate the guards.

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    Picture Credit: Netflix
  50. Yaaas Blanca. WHO by the way has been such a badass this season.
  51. YEAH everyone get on the table. Screw you Piscatella.
  52. Why do all of these idiot guards feel the need to be aggressive?
  53. Oh Suzanne 😦
  54. This is entirely Humphries fault.
  55. And will they PLEASE stop calling her an animal.
  56. Well Poussey has done absolutely nothing wrong.
  57. …and is still doing nothing wrong. Get off her!
  58. Everybody needs to calm down.
  59. Wait…she’s not breathing.
  60. Oh god oh god, get off her.
  61. BLOODY HELL BAYLEY MOVE.
  62. SHE’S NOT BREATHING.
  63. SOMEBODY HELP.
  64. No.
  65. No.
  66. Nope. This is not happening.
  67. Not Tastee. My heart cannot handle this.
  68. And now I’m crying.
  69. I’m crying and I’ll never stop.

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    Picture Credit: Netflix
  70. Not the bird’s eye view. Don’t go for the bird’s eye view.
  71. They were best friends.
  72. She was so chirpy and happy all the time.
  73. Nothing is ever going to be the same again.
  74. Poussey 😦

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    Picture Credit: Netflix

Yep. My heart is broken.

Tina Belcher is the best adolescent TV character in history and here is why.

I’ve spent half of my life preaching about how flipping fantastic Tina Belcher is, so I thought it was time to write about what makes her Queen. Actually, I’ve spent half of my life exaggerating but that’s beside the point.

Tina Belcher is a lot of things, she’s a daughter, a sister and a friend. She’s a fantastic student, a curious teenager discovering her sexuality but most importantly, she is an independent sass Queen. Tina has many admirable qualities and is a brilliant role model for teenage girls, heck, she’s a brilliant role model for all of us.

 

She is confident in herself and kicks insecurities in the butt

Tina knows that she’s great and she won’t let anybody tell her differently (except maybe Louise.) She doesn’t listen to other people about how she should look and is proud of who she is.

Although she is open about her sexuality, she doesn’t depend on love

She knows that her and Jimmy Jr are meant to be but she doesn’t waste her time dwelling on it – unless you count the 3,000 hours of friend fiction that she’s written about him. She knows that she’s fabulous, and she doesn’t need a boy to tell her she is.

She defies gender roles

Tina is tired of being told her own strength, she’s empowered and she’s not afraid to share it.

She doesn’t wait around for boys to make the first move, 

She isn’t shy when talking to people she’s interested in, she’ll happily tell them how she feels and THAT IS OK.

She’s accepting of everybody. 

She doesn’t judge people, even if they’re being a real boob-punch.

She’s proud of her hobbies and interests.

It takes a courageous person to openly share their love of Erotic Friend Fiction.

She’s honest about her love of butts.

I think it would be good for us all if we openly shared our love for the great and mysterious body part that is the buttocks.

She knows that being smart is not a bad quality.

Tina Belcher.Defying female stereotypes since 2003.