A positive spin on 2016 (if you can believe it)

I feel as though 2016 will be known as the devil year for a very long time. So many terrible things have happened in the past 12 months, I’m unable to keep count of them. I found myself lost in thought on a train a few weeks back and started to think of positive things that have happened to me this year and without meaning to brag, it really hasn’t been THAT BAD. In many ways, this year has ruined me. So much has happened and everything in my life has changed. Thankfully, some of the events of 2016 have been fantastic and it’s always better to focus on the positives. So here are some of the nicer things that happened to me during this Black Mirror year…

I left England for the very first time,

Sadly, until I was 21 years old I’d spent my entire life in the UK. For years I’d been desperate to get out but time, money and a fear of the unknown held me back. It wasn’t until February of this year that I finally hopped on a flight to Budapest. I was what can only be describe as a fear-ridden zombie walking through the airport, I cried on the plane, the air hostess had to calm me down. It was all very embarrassing, particularly after ten minutes in which I realised flying is nothing to be worried about, if anything it’s pretty boring. Not to mention, the Hunger Games is hard to enjoy when you can see a woman in your peripherals praying you won’t have a panic attack.

I stepped off the plane expecting the air to feel different, inhaled deeply and my nose filled with the stench of fuel. In the same holiday I travelled over to Vienna; went ice-skating, fell and cut my head open. I had to get stitches and acted as though they were amputating my leg. It was definitely a holiday for firsts.

 

I decided to try out veganism…

…and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made! I finally have a healthy relationship with food and I feel so much better in myself. It may sound silly because for many people veganism is simply not eating animal products but I feel as though it changes your everyday life, it’s inspired me to be healthier and aware of what I’m putting in my body (unfortunately meaning I’m also more aware of all of the bad stuff!) Veganism has undoubtedly had a positive impact on my life and has introduced an abundance of fantastic food into my very accepting tummy (I love you tofu scramble, never leave me.)

 

I got published by Cosmopolitan,

Fast forward to April and I had my first internship at Cosmopolitan Magazine. It was quite literally a dream come true and the entire experience was unreal. Particularly when they decided to publish my work! If you fancy having a nose at it, click here.

 

I faced many fears, 

When I started University I was hit with a crippling angst and for years I purposefully avoided events, activities and people. I dodged absolutely everything I could, whether it was the dentist or simple activities like swimming. .

This year I entered in the sea for the first time since I was 8 years old, I went to one of the biggest (scariest) waterparks in the world AND I even visited the dentist without crying. I know that these are simple everyday tasks but after years of not even being able to be myself in a room full of my friends – I’m so proud of where I’m at.
I spent a FANTASTIC weekend at Boomtown with my pals,

I’d just returned home after spending 4 years away from Rugby and drifting away from so many of my friends. Being able to spend time with them at arguably the best place in the world was unreal. I’m pretty sure I’ve never laughed as much as I did throughout the course of that weekend.
I travelled around Italy with my best gal, 

I’m still in shock that we stuck to a drunken plan, I had been dying to go to Italy since seeing the Lizzie McGuire movie in 2003 and it was even better than I could have imagined. The food was everything. It was undoubtedly one of the prettiest places I’ve ever seen and spending time with Jen after a year of living apart was perfect. I literaly think about it every single day, if you ever see me looking at my phone, I’m not contacting anyone, I’m looking at pictures of food from Italy (okay food from everywhere, but they are the closest to my heart.)

 

I went to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

and it was AMAZING. Still not over it, probably never will be. I really want to write more about it but I don’t want to be the person who spoils it for you. Nobody deserves that.

 

My blog had it’s year-aversairy

I can’t believe that I’m still posting on this blog nearly a year and a half later. I remember sitting in my third year bedroom, terrified for the future and itching to get some of my angst out. Furiously typing with no idea of where I was going with my babble. I like to think it’s gotten better over time but I’m probably far too self-critical. The main thing is that even though I post every once in a blue moon and spend half my time berating myself for failing to write anything – I’m still here and people are still reading what I have to say. This makes me a very happy person and hopefully in the New Year I will stop neglecting my little blog and develop it further.

 

I think it’s easy to dwell on the harder times in our lives, it’s simpler to get frustrated with what we can’t change and accept that everything is crap. But I truly believe that if we all took five minutes out of our day to think about the brilliant things that happen in our daily lives, we’d all be much happier people.

Happy New Year friends, here’s hoping it’s a good one!

 

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SOS! My drunken self is ruining my life.

Let me count the ways in which drunk Claire just loves to annoy me…

Eating the best food 

Have you ever woken up after a night out and the cruel drunk version of yourself has eaten your entire advent calendar? I know friend, I know.

I love food. I love food more than anything else in the world. The thought of eating a giant bowl of spaghetti gets me through the day. Burgers get me through the week. What I’m trying to say is that if I’ve been thinking about something for a while, I’m very excited to eat it. So when I get home drunk and inhale it without a second thought, it really breaks my little sober heart.

There is no hurt like waking up to see a few lashings of BBQ sauce on a plate that once held such delight.

Drunk texting 

I’m that girl that decides to avoid any awkward situation or confrontation…until I’ve had a few drinks. I will then proceed to send you mass amounts of babble describing exactly how I feel and why I think you’re a knob. Is it irritating and embarrassing? Well yes, yes it is. But I know you’ve all done it too so you can’t judge me.

Telling people overly nice things 

This may sound like a perfectly normal and lovely thing to do but unfortunately I’m weird. I constantly find myself telling people incredibly over the top things that if I heard from a stranger, I would purposefully avoid them for the rest of my life.  Examples include “I saw your dog on Instragram and actually cried” and my personal favourite “I feel like you’re probably meant to be my best friend, let’s hang out.”

Over the top dancing that’s supposed to be comedic but really, really isn’t  

At the time I think I’m hilarious, then I wake up the next day and realise that people always remember the drunk girl that was air-spanking her friend in the middle of the dancefloor.

Making friends with complete strangers that I’ll never talk to again

My contacts list and the notes on my phone are full of random names and numbers of people that I know for a fact I will never bump into again and if I do, I will probably ignore because Hi I’m socially awkward sober Claire, oh you met me when I was drunk? That’s brilliant. Nope, you don’t have to tell me what I was saying. I’m good, thanks though.

The funny thing is at the time I am SO happy to be talking to these people and I almost always end up going to my friends after and saying the words “I just made a new friend, we’re going to go to Brunch tomorrow and sing our song at karaoke.” Okay maybe not those exact words but you get the jist.

Ruining my shoes 

The amount of discarded alcohol and mud that gets on my shoes while I’m out baffles me. Why is it that when we get drunk we become these creepy, overly affectionate creatures that are no longer able to control their limbs? Stop stepping on my foot, stop spilling beer on my shoes, they are my BABIES and I love them too much to see them die like this.

Forgetting vital info 

If you have something really important to tell me, do not do it when I’m drunk. I’ll wake up in the morning with snippets of it in my brain – but never enough to actually remember the specifics. Just enough to annoy me for weeks afterwards.

Throwing everything everywhere

Every now and then the drunk version of me is actually very considerate. She’ll leave all of the important things I need from day-to-day in a neat pile for easy access. She may pick me an outfit if I have work the next day. Heck, sometimes she even showers in preparation for my inability to get up in time.

Unfortunately, more often than none, this is not the case. Most of the time I wake up confused and very, very late. My keys are in the kitchen, my purse is in the loo and my phone is SOMEWHERE in my bed. Now not only am I running round trying to find something unstained to wear to work, I’ve lost everything, I’m stressing out and I don’t even have time to think about the fact I’m going to be sick within the hour.

Making plans that I don’t want to do  

Cycling from London to Paris in two weeks? Great! Going to a rave in Newcastle that requires us waiting in the freezing cold for hours before we can catch a train home? Count me in!

Or more realistically… “We should definitely go for brunch tomorrow, I’ll be up and out at midday, definitely. What even are hangovers anyway?!?”

Drunk Claire probably would do this stuff, drunk Claire is fun and up for anything because wooooo jagerbombs. Unfortunately, sober Claire is a sensible and boring old soul that knows for a fact that if she can’t even go to brunch, there’s no way she’s cycling to Paris. Sorry friends.

Giving away surprises 

I can’t keep a surprise on the best of days, literally can’t handle it. I just look at the person, smiling like a maniac and repeat to myself “don’t say anything, don’t say anything.” Chances are, if I know something that I can’t tell you, I’ll completely avoid you for my own sanity.

THAT IS until drunk Claire storms in, arm around a complete stranger that she insists is her best friend and inviting you to the Go Ape daytrip she’s currently planning. All before saying “oh wait, never mind that’s the day of your surprise birthday party.”

Common Vegan Myths Debunked

I too once uttered the words “I could never be vegan.” 9 months later it is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. 

I’m sure you’re all thinking “oh great, another vegan preaching about something I will never think twice about.” Unfortunately this appears to be a popular opinion and often people are too quick to jump on the anti-vegan bandwagon as opposed to learning more about the movement and considering it as a lifestyle choice. As a child my life revolved around breaded chicken and anything made by Cadbury’s. As I grew older and discovered the dark side to these “treats,” I couldn’t bring myself to participate in the cruel and quite frankly, gross animal agriculture industry. Over the albeit brief time I have been vegan I’ve heard a multitude of complaints and excuses so I thought it was about time I confronted some of these and finally debunked common vegan myths we hear everyday.

“Vegans are protein deficient”

Protein deficiency is incredibly rare in modern society, it is present in a lot of food and it’s shockingly easy to consume an appropriate amount of protein each day from a solely plant-based diet. Here are some examples of protein rich plant based foods. It genuinely confuses me that people still believe that protein is only present in animal-derived products – in 2016. I mean, come on guys.

“Veganism is far too expensive” 

Okay so I can see why people think this is the case. I also walk around Whole Foods questioning who can actually afford to do a food shop there. However, realistically the products that are expensive tend to be meat substitutes which are in no way essential within the vegan diet. Staple foods such as rice, vegetables and pasta are affordable and extremely versatile. Am I going to treat myself to Booja Booja every now and then? Well yes, yes I am. But I definitely don’t need to – and without luxury items such as that, my average food shop is inexpensive. Also, I don’t mean to be catty but I’m sure meat costs a fair bit.

“I enjoy going to restaurants far too much to be vegan”

Veganism does not effect the glorious activity that is eating out. I mean, obviously don’t walk into a steak house and expect a variety of vegan options but there are so many restaurants that cater to the vegan diet. A lot of popular restaurants now have vegan options including Zizzi, Pizza Express and Wagamamas. AND there are a ton of independent cafés and restaurants across the world that have growing, delicious vegan menus. There is also a fantastic website called Happy Cow that gives you vegan options in restaurants from all over the world.
If animals didn’t get killed, the world would be overpopulated” 

Animals are bred for consumption, if more people cut animal products from their diet, breeding would decrease. Thus making overpopulation not even nearly a problem.

“They’re bred to be killed anyway” 

Using this logic, if you impregnated a cat with the intention of killing her kittens, that would be okay. Yes? No. Furthermore the idea that we are breeding anything with the intention of slaughtering needs revising.

We have canines, we’re obviously supposed to eat meat

To begin, there are animals with much bigger canines than us that survive on a purely plant-based diet. Secondly, the fact that we have these does not change the fact that humans can thrive on a plant-based diet. With this in mind, there is literally no reason that we should be killing innocent animals and eating them – other than “bacon is so good though.” *facepalms all over this society we’ve found ourselves in*

“All vegans are health nuts” 

There seems to be an idea that all vegans are mega healthy. That they wake up in the morning, drink a litre of water, do some yoga and eat a watermelon. That is not the case. This diet can be adapted to suit every individual person. If you want to eat 10 bananas for lunch, great, good for you! If you’re more of a 15″ inch pizza with a side of carbonara kind of person (same) then go with that!

“Cows need to be milked”

Cows are the same as any other mammal in that, they need to produce breastmilk to feed their young. To produce Cravendale, a calf is taken away from their mother in order for dairy farmers to take the milk we use. If we were to stop drinking cows’ milk, these poor cows wouldn’t just roam around uncontrollably lactating – they would use their milk to feed their children, as it should be! As an additional point, male calf’s are deemed useless on dairy farms, taken away and killed. PLEASE tell me how this is worth your strawberry milkshake.

Similarly, male chicks are also worthless and are therefore killed shortly after birth. Female chicks are also kept in captivity, treated terribly and killed when they are no longer profitable to farmers.

“We need to test products on animals so that we know they’re safe” 

At this stage in modern society, we’re so advanced that most research is unnecessary and happens purely because of outdated laws stating it must. There are so many products that are no longer tested on animals and companies that use alternative methods for checking the safety of cosmetics and other household items. When it comes to medical research, there are also alternative methods of testing which can totally eliminate the need to use animals, Dr Hadwen Trust is a brilliant charity that  fund research for this and have worked on a range of illnesses such as Leukaemia and Diabetes. There are other options, we do not need to exploit animals for our own gain any longer. 

If you’re interested in turning vegan there are so many helpful websites, books and other resources to make it easier than you can imagine. Also you can always just pop me over a message and I will bestow all of my vegan wisdom upon you – or point you in the direction of someone that has actual wisdom on the matter. Click here to see the presentation that opened my eyes about veganism if you’re interested in learning more!!

 

 

 

9 types of people you’ll meet when returning home from Uni

Going to Uni is a glorious time, filled with hope and independence you wave goodbye to the people you love and try and contemplate moving to a new city and paying for toilet roll. Unfortunately for many of us, living away from home is incredibly difficult and before you know it, you’re back in the same dingy club you threw up in on results night. Now I’m not one to stereotype (jk it’s who I am,) but I am certain that these people exist in every small town in the country and you will absolutely meet them upon returning home.

 

  1. The ones that have stayed the exact same:

They’re still hovering around clubs, drinking the same thing and talking about memories from 6 years ago. They’ve been around for so long, they’re practically part of the furniture and you find yourself questioning whether you’d be able to tell them apart from their 18 year old selves.

  1. The ones that became real adults:

They’re parents, have real careers and are saving for a mortgage. You’re happy for them but can’t help think of a time in which they were grinding on some stranger to Rihanna’s hit song “S&M.”

  1. The Judgy Aunts:

No I don’t know what I’m doing with my future, yes I do think my degree was worthwhile and no, I don’t want a job with your friend’s husband’s cousin, thanks.

  1. The Old Fling that you had completely forgotten existed:

Whilst doing your best “oh hi I didn’t see you there” you shimmy towards the door, repeatedly telling yourself that you were young and stupid so it’s okay.

  1. The friend from years ago that you still love:

You’re completely different people now but you still get excited about seeing them and discussing all of the dumb stuff you used to do. Hopefully you’ll actually end up grabbing that drink you’re always on about with them.

  1. The “Twelve Year Olds” that are now eighteen:

Yes they are allowed to drink legally now and no matter how much you deny it, you were doing the same thing as them three years ago.

  1. The Fresher that goes to your Uni:

You end up yelling a variety of places that you can get cheap drinks at and going on about how much they’re going to love University – whilst hiding how jealous you are that they get to experience it for the first time.

  1. The smug ones that are exactly where they want to be:

Great, you have the perfect job, I’m so glad that you landed on your feet. Now please walk away so I can sob into my glass of wine.

  1. The people that are in the exact same boat as you:

Thank you for keeping me sane, you fantastic people you.

 

Climbing Out of a Rut

Everybody has bad days. Get ready for a babble. 

I’ve been neglecting this blog more than ever recently, just when I thought I couldn’t get any worse (sorry blog I do love you I promise.) I’ve been in that hideous process of writing something, deciding it’s naff and deciding it will never see the light of day. Funnily enough the last post that I had drafted was about positivity and optimism for the future. Naturally this was before I had a two month holiday from life.

I decided earlier this year to move out of London, leave my job and take some time to actually enjoy my life. After years of deadlines, budgeting and an ever-increasing addiction to caffeine, I thought it was only best I had a break. I saved more than I ever thought I could, booked two trips and decided it would be a great idea to get drunk in a field for four days (it was.) So at the end of July I packed up my stuff and moved back to my hometown, excited for my working class gap year.

Since the beginning of August I have laughed more than I ever thought possible, had everything stolen from me for the first time in my life (glitter included – don’t cry for me) and finally decided that I am not afraid of flying. I’ve jet-ski’d in the Mediterranean, travelled around the most beautiful country I’ve ever seen and finally found a vegan chocolate croissant. It’s been perfect.

However, the holiday blues are so real.

Returning to real life has been a massive awakening that I am in a rut. I didn’t want to share negativity on my blog, I think everybody wants to appear as a ray of sunshine on the internet. Unfortunately I find this incredibly therapeutic and am certain I’ll end this on a positive note. Anyway, I have fallen into a typical early-twenties quarter life crisis, questioning my own success and whether I’m ever going to be able to use my degree – you know the drill.

I woke up this morning and wanted to sleep all day. I lay in bed thinking about who I am and what I need to do to even begin feeling better about my life, hopeless, sad thoughts filled my brain. Fortunately, I literally have no time to mope. My overdraft will not allow it. I crawled out of bed and began scrolling through rejection emails, sipping at a disappointing cup of tea and wondering when I became such a negative loser. Then I received a phone call from a very kind lady offering me a job. A job that has absolutely nothing to do with my degree or my ever-diminishing dreams but a job none the less. A beacon of hope that was much needed to pull me out of my funk.

Naturally I whacked on my fav gal Amy and began writing this blog post. I already feel better. Writing this, or anything for that matter has been the biggest issue. I’ve been in such a slump, feeling sorry for myself and doing nothing to help the situation. I hate feeling down and luckily I eventually get bored of pitying myself.

I know that this probably makes no sense and I’ve just babbled about first world problems for 600 words but what I’m trying to say is that I’m so aware that everything is going to be okay. I have the upmost faith in my ability to pull myself out of this rut and I can’t thank my beautiful friends enough for being there to give me a hand.

I’m sure the next time I post on this blog – hopefully not three months from now – I’ll be back to my cheery old self and will ramble about puppies. But for now, thanks for listening to me moan.

 

Simple Ways to Improve an Awful Day

Happy 1st Birthday Blog, you’re a great way for me to channel my thoughts about how strange humans are and beat myself up on a daily basis about not posting on you enough. Check out my first blog post if you fancy reading about how great Uni was…and how terrified I am about real life adulting.

I’ve had one of those days. I woke up late, I crammed myself onto a sweaty tube and glared at every single person that got in my way and sat at work dreaming of going on holiday. More often than none, “one of those days” turns into one of those weeks and I spend far too long moping and questioning every little thing in my life. HOWEVER, I have had an epiphany, I have spoken to the gods, I have become enlightened. Well, I’ve just decided to stop being a grumpy mare, but I may as well have found some new and interesting spirituality, right? Probably not.

Either way, I’m trying to be that lovely and positive ray of sunshine that you meet every now and then. You know, that person that you imagine having some deep rooted rage because NO-ONE can be that pleasant. (It’s going really well so far.) I decided to bestow my unreliable words of wisdom upon you once more, with some suggestions about how to improve a bad day.

PLEASE go to Cookies and Scream, it’s everything to me and more.

Indulge

I’ve said it before and I will definitely say it again, sometimes all you need is a large pizza, a tub of ice cream and a side of tacos (vegan, of course.) Listen to that little piggy in your brain, eat the burrito, eat the fries, EAT 30 OREOS. You are liberated. Embrace the sugar!

Nourish yo’self

On a completely opposing note, sometimes I get that feeling that my body is decaying and my pores are actually filled with hummus, you know? In this situation it’s probably best to get all of the vegetables and make the most comforting and lovely meal imaginable.

Read

Yes it’s my answer to everything. But it’s been my go to 15 YEARS. It’s the nicest activity and I’ll preach about it until I’m 80.

Call your pal 

Sometimes all you need is a catch up with a friend. Call your buddy and talk absolute nonsense with them for a few hours. You’ll forget why you were even annoyed, I’m sure.

Photo Credit: The Mary Sue

Watch Bob’s Burgers

In my lightheaded enlightened state I nearly wrote about watching informative documentaries, learning about new things and taking some time to appreciate how astonishing our planet really is. Of course this is all well and good but we all know that when everything is naff and you hate the world, ya girl Tina is the only thing that’s gonna make you feel better (and Gene. In fact, they’re all pretty great.)

 

Do some exercise! 

I say this all the time, I have a little voice in my head that is constantly telling me to do exercise BUT I NEVER DO. I know that it will improve my lifestyle, I know it’ll make me feel better when I’m lying in bed covered in Kettle Chips but I don’t do it. I probably never will. My point is, don’t make my awful mistakes, get out there and make your Instagram followers think you’re fit and fabulous.
Listen to your Happy Playlist

Whack all of the songs that you’d put on your all-time favourite playlist. All of the Chic, anything that causes your bum to wiggle when you’re not instructing it to do so. Make it as loud as possible and have a ruddy good sing along. I’m currently obsessing over this Courtney Barnett album, I’m sure you’re all dying to know.

 

Photo Cred: Tumblr

Be the Blanket

If all else fails, if you’re having a day from hell. Everyone sucks, you feel gross and you haven’t eaten anything nice. Then there is only one thing to do. Be the blanket, you are the blanket.

 

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74 thoughts I had whilst watching THAT EPISODE of Orange is the New Black

 

I want to preface this by saying that I’m still very much heartbroken. I get too attached to fictional characters, I know, get over it. Secondly I think that the last season of Orange is the New Black was the worst television I’ve ever seen and I’m shocked and impressed that they managed to bring it back.   

The most recent season of Orange is the New Black touched on some very significant social issues that need to be bought to light in mainstream media, it tugged on our heartstrings and reminded us that everyone is human – apart from Piscatella and Humphries – douchebags. But the last two episodes. My god. I haven’t wept that much since Chris died. I’ve basically scripted the emotional roller coaster that was my brain whilst watching Episode 12 unfold. Hopefully we can be there for one another at this time and get through this tragedy together.

  1. THE ANIMALS. THE ANIMALS. TRAPPED TRAPPED TRAPPED TILL THE CAGE IS FULL.
  2. Oh god, don’t fall don’t fall.
  3. I would not climb that tower for a million pounds. Okay maybe a million but I wouldn’t be happy about it.
  4. Aw, Bayley. He’s a good egg. An innocent, sweet egg.
  5. Kaputo is about to lose his shit, his moustache is actually gonna to fall out.
  6. Aw, they’re all uniting because of hate. That’s the way it should be. Fuck you Humps.
  7. This still doesn’t make the white supremacists okay.
  8. I swear to Christ if anything happens to Red I’m leaving.

    OINTB6
    Picture Credit: Netflix
  9. Brook and Poussey are too cute. Cannot handle. Need to slow dance in a time machine pronto.
  10. AND we need to find out more about Poussey’s mum. And life. Will someone please just tell me how to be her best friend already.
  11. Piper’s stupid face is stupid. She should have left seasons ago.  Let’s be honest I’m probably just doing that thing where you hate someone you see yourself in. Actually I resent that. She’s the worst.
  12. So are her and Alex together again now or?
  13. I’ll never know. I’m not sure they’ll ever know.
  14. YEAH! Fuck the system!!

    OINTB2
    Picture Credit: Netflix
  15. Don’t listen to him Mr Kaputo!
  16. How is he THIS MUCH of an arsehole?! They’re all terrible.
  17. Except for sweet Bayley.
  18. And the kind female guard.
  19. Judy King is bloody annoying. Over-privileged, manipulative and annoying.
  20. Relatable dehydration issues though.
  21. Mmm, Yoga Jones really sold out. She sold out baaad.
  22. Oh god please stop mentioning the horrible threesome.
  23. Although I’m VERY glad that they stood up for female sexuality. Especially for powerful women that are past a certain age. Not Judy bloody King though.
  24. Yaaaaas. She’s giving P the hook up. She’s gonna go to Fiji with Soso and live happily ever after.
  25. Yoga Jones really needs to chill.
  26. I would absolutely starve in prison, the food looks hideous. And I’d be the picky vegan. Oooo they need a vegan in Orange is the new Black.
  27. What is it with Piper and getting involved with everything ever? I swear she’s just incredibly bored in prison and can’t stand the idea of picking up a bloody book.
  28. “If your skin is darker than white sneakers, you have no work ethic.” Oh can you PLEASE just bugger off. And FYI, “white” skin is darker than your average Stan Smiths so you can go eff yourself.
  29. Boo and Pennsatucky have one of the best relationships from the entire show, they’ve both progressed so much and they have a genuine, caring friendship. So cute. So glad for them.
  30. HOWEVER, very unhappy with Pennsatucky for talking to Coates again. He’s a hideous person who does not deserve her time.
  31. Forgive him for your own wellbeing but never EVER speak to him again.
  32. Poussey and Brooke cannot be arguing right now. Nothing is worth ending what they have!!
  33. They’ll be okay, right? Right?!
  34. Oh piss off Judy.
  35. Vinnie is such a stereotypical Italian New Yorker it is UNREAL.
  36. But he’s cute and very nice to Morello.
  37. Oh great, she’s messing things up.
  38. Why has nobody spoke to her or helped with her issues before?!
  39. I know that she sweeps everything under the rug and acts like it’s all fine but come on, SOMEONE must have noticed.
  40. Mr Heely 😦
  41. Galina Reznikov, pulling people together since 1955.

    OITNB3
    Picture Credit: Netflix
  42. Sophia Burset is a fantastic and courageous woman who deserves so much better than everything that has happened to her in this prison. And her wife is awesome.
  43. I wish my name was Baxter Bayley.
  44. Bayley really needs to start thinking about things before he does them, as opposed to feeling guilty afterwards and attempting to change his ways.
  45. Oh look it’s the ex-warden that was sleeping with Kaputo. She’s weird.
  46. Great, Piscatella is being an arse again.
  47. Poor Red.
  48. Poor Suzanne.
  49. I hate the guards.

    OITNB4
    Picture Credit: Netflix
  50. Yaaas Blanca. WHO by the way has been such a badass this season.
  51. YEAH everyone get on the table. Screw you Piscatella.
  52. Why do all of these idiot guards feel the need to be aggressive?
  53. Oh Suzanne 😦
  54. This is entirely Humphries fault.
  55. And will they PLEASE stop calling her an animal.
  56. Well Poussey has done absolutely nothing wrong.
  57. …and is still doing nothing wrong. Get off her!
  58. Everybody needs to calm down.
  59. Wait…she’s not breathing.
  60. Oh god oh god, get off her.
  61. BLOODY HELL BAYLEY MOVE.
  62. SHE’S NOT BREATHING.
  63. SOMEBODY HELP.
  64. No.
  65. No.
  66. Nope. This is not happening.
  67. Not Tastee. My heart cannot handle this.
  68. And now I’m crying.
  69. I’m crying and I’ll never stop.

    OITNB1
    Picture Credit: Netflix
  70. Not the bird’s eye view. Don’t go for the bird’s eye view.
  71. They were best friends.
  72. She was so chirpy and happy all the time.
  73. Nothing is ever going to be the same again.
  74. Poussey 😦

    OINTB5
    Picture Credit: Netflix

Yep. My heart is broken.