Realistic New Year’s Resolutions

Every January 1st people awake thinking “this is my year, I’m not going to do all of the horrible unhealthy things I did last year. Somehow in the past 12 hours I am new. I am different. And I will be better.” Gyms are flooded with people, Holland and Barrett run out of stock and Nutri Bullet make enough money to last them until the next New Year.

But come January 12th we’re all back to our old selves; inhaling chocolate because it’s all we’ve been thinking about for 12 days. We’re a very greedy species, we indulge far too often and let’s be honest – we don’t really care. So I’m here to give you ideas for realistic resolutions, perhaps this year it’s best to set goals that you know you can complete. You can save yourself from the disappointing reminder that you’re a terrible human being that procrastinates too much and will never be able to get through the week without a glass of wine.

Drink more

It’s important to support independent businesses and your local pub is just as good as that random health food shop you always say you’ll shop at but constantly fail to. You may think that partaking in dry January is a fantastic idea but the truth is, alcohol is good for the soul and down time is just as important as working.
Keep spending that hour on your phone in the morning

Yes, I suppose social media is ruining our conversations. Sitting in bed for an hour every morning scrolling through apps like a zombie probably isn’t productive. But at the end of the day, when all is said and done, you’ve got to get the likes. How else will you measure your self worth in this cold, plastic society?
Keep drinking very little water

Being hydrated is probably overrated anyway and let’s be honest, you don’t have time to keep going to the toilet during your busy day. Keep telling yourself that the health benefits of drinking water are a myth. You’ll be fine!
Ensure you have 6 hours sleep every night

8 hours is far too much, you don’t want to be too well-rested in the day. You need your lack of sleep and dependency on caffeine to stay alert and be at your best performance! This will also give you more time to watch more trashy television and ridiculous YouTube videos.

Eat any (vegan) food that you want  

I don’t know how many times I have to say food is love before the world agrees. Restricting calories and going on silly diets will only make you unhappy. Who wants to sit at work all day dreaming about pasta to go home and eat a salad? You’re only gonna snack afterwards. Do yourself a favour, eat the pasta. Or if you really want to do better this year, eat a pasta salad.
Avoid the gym

You’ve walked to the pub, you’ve done some pretty brilliant drunk dancing. You’re good for the week! You don’t want to tire yourself out before work tomorrow.
Remain happy in your messy room

Tidying is futile, it will just get messy again in a few days. Save yourself some time and live peacefully amongst the chaos. PLUS messy people tend to be more intelligent…this random article says.

Cancel that yoga class

We all know you’re only going to go once and there’s no point getting to know people just to let them down. Maybe try and do a yoga YouTube tutorial at some point this month. That’ll do!
Watch more Peep Show

I have nothing satirical to say about this, it’s just a brilliant resolution that we should all work towards.

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A positive spin on 2016 (if you can believe it)

I feel as though 2016 will be known as the devil year for a very long time. So many terrible things have happened in the past 12 months, I’m unable to keep count of them. I found myself lost in thought on a train a few weeks back and started to think of positive things that have happened to me this year and without meaning to brag, it really hasn’t been THAT BAD. In many ways, this year has ruined me. So much has happened and everything in my life has changed. Thankfully, some of the events of 2016 have been fantastic and it’s always better to focus on the positives. So here are some of the nicer things that happened to me during this Black Mirror year…

I left England for the very first time,

Sadly, until I was 21 years old I’d spent my entire life in the UK. For years I’d been desperate to get out but time, money and a fear of the unknown held me back. It wasn’t until February of this year that I finally hopped on a flight to Budapest. I was what can only be describe as a fear-ridden zombie walking through the airport, I cried on the plane, the air hostess had to calm me down. It was all very embarrassing, particularly after ten minutes in which I realised flying is nothing to be worried about, if anything it’s pretty boring. Not to mention, the Hunger Games is hard to enjoy when you can see a woman in your peripherals praying you won’t have a panic attack.

I stepped off the plane expecting the air to feel different, inhaled deeply and my nose filled with the stench of fuel. In the same holiday I travelled over to Vienna; went ice-skating, fell and cut my head open. I had to get stitches and acted as though they were amputating my leg. It was definitely a holiday for firsts.

 

I decided to try out veganism…

…and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made! I finally have a healthy relationship with food and I feel so much better in myself. It may sound silly because for many people veganism is simply not eating animal products but I feel as though it changes your everyday life, it’s inspired me to be healthier and aware of what I’m putting in my body (unfortunately meaning I’m also more aware of all of the bad stuff!) Veganism has undoubtedly had a positive impact on my life and has introduced an abundance of fantastic food into my very accepting tummy (I love you tofu scramble, never leave me.)

 

I got published by Cosmopolitan,

Fast forward to April and I had my first internship at Cosmopolitan Magazine. It was quite literally a dream come true and the entire experience was unreal. Particularly when they decided to publish my work! If you fancy having a nose at it, click here.

 

I faced many fears, 

When I started University I was hit with a crippling angst and for years I purposefully avoided events, activities and people. I dodged absolutely everything I could, whether it was the dentist or simple activities like swimming. .

This year I entered in the sea for the first time since I was 8 years old, I went to one of the biggest (scariest) waterparks in the world AND I even visited the dentist without crying. I know that these are simple everyday tasks but after years of not even being able to be myself in a room full of my friends – I’m so proud of where I’m at.
I spent a FANTASTIC weekend at Boomtown with my pals,

I’d just returned home after spending 4 years away from Rugby and drifting away from so many of my friends. Being able to spend time with them at arguably the best place in the world was unreal. I’m pretty sure I’ve never laughed as much as I did throughout the course of that weekend.
I travelled around Italy with my best gal, 

I’m still in shock that we stuck to a drunken plan, I had been dying to go to Italy since seeing the Lizzie McGuire movie in 2003 and it was even better than I could have imagined. The food was everything. It was undoubtedly one of the prettiest places I’ve ever seen and spending time with Jen after a year of living apart was perfect. I literaly think about it every single day, if you ever see me looking at my phone, I’m not contacting anyone, I’m looking at pictures of food from Italy (okay food from everywhere, but they are the closest to my heart.)

 

I went to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

and it was AMAZING. Still not over it, probably never will be. I really want to write more about it but I don’t want to be the person who spoils it for you. Nobody deserves that.

 

My blog had it’s year-aversairy

I can’t believe that I’m still posting on this blog nearly a year and a half later. I remember sitting in my third year bedroom, terrified for the future and itching to get some of my angst out. Furiously typing with no idea of where I was going with my babble. I like to think it’s gotten better over time but I’m probably far too self-critical. The main thing is that even though I post every once in a blue moon and spend half my time berating myself for failing to write anything – I’m still here and people are still reading what I have to say. This makes me a very happy person and hopefully in the New Year I will stop neglecting my little blog and develop it further.

 

I think it’s easy to dwell on the harder times in our lives, it’s simpler to get frustrated with what we can’t change and accept that everything is crap. But I truly believe that if we all took five minutes out of our day to think about the brilliant things that happen in our daily lives, we’d all be much happier people.

Happy New Year friends, here’s hoping it’s a good one!